Marissa Ellington

It's the same thing everyday. You treated me like crap for the last 2 years, and I was a moron for thinking that was truly going to change. All you have done is use me for the person I am, trying to get you out and keep you out of trouble, be your maid and your baby mom.

Although my anger fuels me, I want you to know I still love you. There isn't much more I can do at this point to stop the inevitable from happening. The broken promises, the lies, the name calling; how much more are you going to put me through before you've had enough and treat me like the Goddess I am? Or is it going to take me leaving you before you see all that you are going to lose?

The words of a broken soul, my name is Marissa Ellington; I've been with the man of my nightmares for 10 years now, and nothing is going to plan. These will be my memoires of how my days, weeks and months of my life will unfold.

You're not ready to marry me, you made that abundantly clear. However, it is so hard for me to get over. I love you so much, and unlike you; I wouldn't be with someone if I didn't see a future transpiring from a relationship.

"I'm not ready"
"Why", I asked
"I'm just not"

Our conversation repeats over in my head. My heart breaks each time I look at you. I'm not ready to walk away from energy invested; when a relationship is broken we fix it, not throw it away. But I'm not willing to sacrifice another dream for you. It's been one thing after an other, and my heart repeatedly breaks each time I think about it.

Do I stay and wait just to get hurt?
Do I stay and wait to one day be more happy then I have ever been?
Do I leave and be miserable, just to come back in no time at all?
Do I leave and be miserable for a short time and be happy again one day?

I know you cannot answer these questions for me, but I cannot leave these questions any longer. Why don't you want me the way that I want you? I have sacrificed everything to be with you, without complaint. All I'm asking for in return for my unconditional love and loyalty, is my dream of being a wife! Is that really too much to ask for?